Not As Planned
by FroggyFran
Summary: From Japan to Italy is just too far away. XS yaoi phonesex masturbation oneshot


The shower was for relaxing rather than washing the blood off. Of course, that wasn't really working.

It was annoying to Squalo, all the red goop drying in his hair. It clumped together and made his head feel heavy. And sometimes it covered his locks until he looked like a ginger. Xanxus always did want to fuck a redhead.

"Fuck it," he whispered, scalding water over his hair riveting down red, and the deep color washed up to his ankles. He could smell the copper, taste it in his mouth.

Being in Japan to take care of some unfinished business for the Vongola, Squalo felt lonely; No one to kick around, to scream at. No one to fuck him into a wall.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck!" he yelled. Stop thinking like that. Stop thinking about him.

Satisfied with his cleanliness, tub stained crimson, he turned the water off and stepped out (not a bit of pity for the maid who had to clean that). Towel drying his long silver hair, the phone rang. He gave a loud growl and wrapped a towel around his hips, stomping over to the phone.

"What?" he screamed into it.

"Show some respect, you fucking piece of trash."

Throb. And his heart jumps.

"...Xanxus, what..." he tried to voice his surprise, and only succeeded in feeling like a dumbstruck idiot with a red face. Not like the man on the other line knew that.

"I was going to check on how your fucking mission went, stupid," the voice rumbled, sending a different kind of rumble down Squalo's spine, "but you sound too fucking busy for me."

Squalo tried to concentrate on the terrible floral wallpaper of the hotel interior, or the tacky picture of a valley over the bed. Anything would have helped distract him from that voice that brought memories of long summer nights in his home country, tussling in the sheets and the humid air perfect for caresses. His knees became weak.

"N-No, the mission was fine," he ground out, hating himself for showing his weakness for the man. "I killed everyone."

"Good," came the reply, "At least you aren't totally worthless. What are you wearing?"

Ba-bump. And his heart beats faster.

"A-Are you fucking kidding me?" What was Xanxus playing at, phone sex? Was he just as desperate for Squalo as Squalo was desperate for Xanxus? The swordsman felt a tremble in his hands at the thought.

"No, you stupid piece of shit. What are you wearing?"

Though Xanxus had his reasons. He could hear the barely contained laughter of Belphegor on another line, Marmon's voice chirping quietly in the background about Bel's mental capacity, and Lussuria's mounting interest in the form of giggling, like this was one of his soap operas. Squalo didn't seem to catch any of it, which made this so much sweeter. Xanxus was going to make his bitch squirm, and when he came back to Italy, he'd be a laughing stock. It was a win-win situation.

"I just got out of the shower...I'm not wearing anything," Squalo whispered. Whatever Xanxus was trying to do, Squalo didn't care. He missed him.

"Slut. Probably touching yourself thinking about me, aren't you?" Squalo jumped, nearly dropping the loose towel. His face grew hot, and his body grew hotter.

"...I...I'm not." But Squalo almost wanted to say yes, because he was sure he wanted to. His legs were so unstable he had to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"You're lying. I can practically hear you moaning my name, bitch. Probably all wet and needy." Squalo let out a whine, feeling himself get hard thinking about it. Xanxus, upon hearing the whine, knew he had succeeded. Of course, he always knew how to tease Squalo better than anyone. "What was that? You are? What a dirty little bitch! Do you miss me?"

"Yes!" Squalo blurted out, shame gone and passion explosive. He let go of the towel and pressed his free hand against his twitching hard-on, purring for his boss. "Yes, Xanxus!"

"Damn," he uttered, laughing at the silence of his other Varia members, "That was pretty fast, trash. Already crying my name! Thinking of the way I touch you?"

"Yes," the silver-haired Italian cried, rubbing faster. Squalo always loved the way Xanxus touched him: Rough and pitiless. But it was rare nights where those touches turned to feather-soft strokes and kisses, ones no one ever knew about, that made Squalo's heart melt. "I want you to touch me."

Xanxus shoved his feet up on his desk as he leaned back in the leather chair, rather amused. "I can't fucking touch you, stupid, you're hundreds of miles away." Xanxus could hear the disheartened cry at that piece of obviousness, and sighed. "How about you touch yourself the way I always touch you."

Squalo stilled for a moment, feeling a twinge of sincerity in his boss's voice. He gulped down a hitched breath and lay on his back, starting again slowly and sensually. It wasn't the way Xanxus always did it, but it was the way he seldom did. He closed his misty eyes and felt warm, like those nights in Italy.

"Stupid trash, don't fucking make that noise."

Squalo was unaware of any sounds he was making. But to Xanxus, that was the sound Squalo made when he was all for the taking, so ready and so bloody willing.

And somehow, Xanxus's fingers were edging their way toward the tent in his pants.

"What the..." he whispered away from the phone. How could he get a stiffy from that stupid fucking shark making those noises? Not like he was imagining the way Squalo twisted and turned under him, white legs spread just for him and silver hair cascading over ivory sheets. He wasn't thinking that at all.

"Xanxus!" Squalo cried. He was getting closer, so much hotter.

"Dirty slut, you love it when I touch you like that. When you get back, I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't walk for a month." Xanxus hid behind his brutality. He probably wasn't going to fuck him that hard. But he felt pretty confused for a moment.

"God I -! Ahhh!" and Squalo came, arching his hips off the dingy hotel bed and crying out for his boss. Xanxus said nothing further, listening to Squalo breathe shakily and whine. "Ti...Ti amo."

Xanxus felt himself let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. His pants were tight and his face was hot. And without thinking, he let the words slip.

"...Ti amo anche."

Squalo smiled, curling on his side and breathing deeply, lazily slipping the phone back onto the cradle. He couldn't wait to come home.

Back at the Varia mansion, Xanxus still had the phone to his ear and his finger just barely touching the button to his pants. Suddenly, the rest of the Varia, still on the line, burst into violent fits of laughter. It wasn't until Xanxus threw his desk into the wall and destroyed half of the library that they calmed down.

Though even when Squalo got back, they were still laughing.


End file.
